i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
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Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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