why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
