i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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