You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
