I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there's paper in my vomit.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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