Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
