We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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