well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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