this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
