Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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