3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
