Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
