Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
