So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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