I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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