She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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