Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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