Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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