Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Use "feeling words"
Yay
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
