Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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