Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
