capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
