How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
