I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
her vagine was all disorganized.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
