no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
