I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Too much gin, very little bucket
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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