You're my little dorito
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
