okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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