she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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