and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
