I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
