The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
