She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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