I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need to calm my uterus...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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