but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My feet surprised me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
