i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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