I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
