Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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