He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
