Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
