It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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At least life still wants to fuck me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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