Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.