sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
