Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.