You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
