I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
