She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
