he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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