You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
