Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
