I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize