just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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