you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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