So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
