So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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