I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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