You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
