i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
