he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
