The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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