I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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