I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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