I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I am available for nakedness
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
