you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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