Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
