He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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